I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
