Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
