Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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