nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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