You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
