Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Boobs speak an international language.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Your penis caused this!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
