Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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