May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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