Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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