So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
