Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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