maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We are all done wearing pants today
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