Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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