as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
