i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
