This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
