There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
