btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize