haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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