sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
