i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
