singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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