alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
