You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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