He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
