we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
