She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
