Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
