1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
