I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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