A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
