Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
