Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
not ubering you a puppy
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
