can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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