I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Damn victory sex feels great
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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