I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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