i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
