69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
