dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
