I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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