They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
