amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
