Porn is love you can see.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
