just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
