Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
