i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My Sexting was not on an AP level
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
