Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
