Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
