hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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