when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
