is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
