So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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