Pappa wants mamma naked
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
