i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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