Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
