ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
