I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
