If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I have demons in me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
