I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
