You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize