Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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