plz talk dirty to me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
