Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
