it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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