Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i believe in u and ur pee
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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