maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
birth control should be required to get into college
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
