Are we in a gay sports bar?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
