threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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